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Parenting ArticlesBy Chris Theisen
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Over the last six or so years, there has been a huge influx of reality shows flooding the airwaves. Many of these shows are ridiculous in nature, but there are some true gems among them. When I say "gems," most of you probably assume that I'm talking about American Idol, Big Brother, or even Survivor. While there are millions of individuals that evidently find value in the above-mentioned shows, these are not the ones that I would describe as "gems." I am instead talking about the small but highly informative group of "self help" shows.
Dr. Phil, Nanny 911, and Supernanny all fit into that category. These shows offer parents an entertaining format from which important parenting and/or relationship skills can be learned. It is now possible to learn how to effectively use time out (or the "naughty spot" as it is referred to on Supernanny) or to recognize the warning signs associated with common childhood disorders (as identified by Dr. Phil on his show). Nanny 911 teaches parents the correct way to put a non-compliant sleeper to bed. These are only a few examples of the advice, tips, and techniques that parents can use to effectively manage their difficult children. A lot can be learned from these shows.
If you are a frustrated or overwhelmed parent looking for solutions to your child's unruly behavior, give these shows a try. You will learn valuable parenting and discipline tips (unless, of course, Dr. Phil has on guests that are trying to fix their annoying habits of juggling in their sleep or unintentionally burping the alphabet every time they drink a sip of soda).
In addition to watching these shows, you can find a wonderful set of parenting and discipline tools at the following sites:
wwww.parentcoachplan.com
www.behavior-contracts.com
www.teenbehaviorcontracts.com
What to do after your child has been disciplined:
Most parents can dish out consequences in their sleep. That's often the easiest part of disciplining a child. Many parents, however, fail to complete what I see as the final steps to discipline: processing, forgiving, and allowing the child to "save face."
Be sure to follow these three steps after your child has successfully completed his or her consequence:
Process:
Making sure that your child 1) knows which behavior it is that led to the consequence 2) understands why his or her actions were inappropriate, unsafe, or unacceptable 3) discusses some of the better choices that could have been made, and finally, 4) makes an appropriate apology.
Forgive:
Calmly express your disappointment with regards to his or her behavior. Be sure to let him or her know that you are confident that he or she will make a better choice next time.
Allow Your Child to "Save Face:"
Find a subtle but kind gesture that allows your child to maintain his or her dignity. Apologize if you over-reacted or lost your temper while giving the consequence, give a quick but meaningful hug, say "I love you," offer a Kleenex if he or she has been crying, etc. Let your child know that you appreciate his or her ability to accept and/or follow through with the consequence (if applicable).
About the Author:
Chris Theisen has written several articles about child and teen behavior and is the creator of The Parent Coach Plan, a comprehensive discipline plan for parents. His websites offer behavior contracts, behavior charts, and a wealth of information and advice related to parenting and discipline.
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